The Northwild: Manifest Destiny

Session 25: Thrillin' in the Kiln

The Dwarf Wilds: Bar-Brawl Destiny

  • In Attendance: Flint, MacDougal Wyth and introducing: Mordechai Knoll
  • Adventure Date: First week of January.
  • Random Merchants: None. It’s cold as hell and no one is coming our way.

“Aye! Oh! Let’s go (towards Bael Turath and the Shambling Throne)!”

  • We welcome Mordechai Knoll! A southern hill dwarf, he’s a self proclaimed “entertainer”, “journeyman Jester” and all about the monaaaaaay. Like the rest of the dwarves in this game, he is an oprhan (or dwarfphan if you prefer)
  • Them Dwarfboys hit up Khal Tharum. Mac finds himself a fun disguise as “Dingle”, Mordechai’s mustachioed roadie and carrier of his many musical instruments.
  • Mordechai further proves his usefulness by casting Leomund’s Tiny Hut (aka REI’s Super Warm Winter Tent) for a warm night’s sleep. Flint bemoans the way this group has gone soft. Mac, Mordechai, and the dire rams enjoy having a warm night’s sleep.
  • Flint finds Wyvern’s in the mountains south east of the Giant’s Castle! Thar be gold if we retrieve them Wyvern eggs!
  • A long LotR styled ‘travel’ sequence through a cold desert en-route to Bael Turath. It was boring. Flint wins eye spy. Mordechai regales us with his stand up act.
  • The DwarfBoys find an inn! But wait, that’s not an inn. It’s a RESORT! The Kiln on the Borderlands is a welcoming elf owned, tiefling operated resort that is incredibly nice!
  • Flint plays nice with the bar keep and learns that the Giants west have cut of trade routes, and Bael Turath is under the rule of the Six Hundred and Sixty Six Voices, their highly efficient monocamural legislator.
  • Mac gets chatty with some Crusaders of Lathander, who have set up an encampment en route to Bael Turath. They’re hunting for the Shambling Throne, and they really want Sir Renfro dead. Mac covers and lies about this whereabouts because he’s Good, not Nice.
  • Mordechai busts out the sweet sweet bagpipes (they’re sweet) and gets the bar hopping with his infernal language scatman routine (he doesn’t speak infernal). His linguistic confidence overrides any inaccuracies and even the Crusaders are dancin’! Mordechai notes a trio of pilgrims who clearly ain’t pilgrims, hiding in an upstairs loft.
  • -sssssssscratch! or whatever a deflated bag pipe plays. Three headhunters: a big Shiny Gladiator type, a bald mage with hot topic tattoos, and an ugly lookin’ Demon (Lord Koba). They’re hunting for aforementioned trio (escaped slaves). Mordechai insists Lord Koba used to do stand up comedy with him. Flint is unhelpfully antisocial. Mac tries to play nice by offerin’ ale. They ain’t playin nice. CUE THE MUSIC!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewFBuYHldeY&ab_channel=SweetVEVO

Bar Room Blitz

*Flint busts out some GODDAMN DWARF JIU-JITSU and throws the Plate-Mail-Gladiator across the fucking bar and knocks him out. Ryan is dismayed and delighted. The Crusaders of Lathander eventually find their courage and finish off the big guy.

  • Mordechai puts his soft jester feet to good work and Chandelier swings to the escaped slaves, and puts them behind a major image. He spends most of the fight just REALLY pissing off Lord Koba with YOUR MOM jokes and insulting his comic prowess.
  • Mage Man tries to Fly and Mac has none of it by casting dispel, and spitting ale and holy water at the Demon. Mac and the Mage go to the steam room for an Eastern Promises style mage fight that involves a literal typhoon, a cone of frost, and the Mage being turned to holy cinders. Mac gets blown through the door like a chump.
  • The Slaves begin to make a run for it, but not before the Dragonborn among them falls to Lord Koba! Flint busts out some fine archery and makes Lord Koba dream their is a 4th dwarfphan paladin chasing him because why the fuck not at this point. Koba tries to give chase but Mac uses Marthammor’s MIghty Guided Bolt to leave a black ash mark.

“…Should we stay or should we go? Go? Yeah, we’ll go.”

  • Them Dwarf Boys find some fine loot (see the end). They aren’t allowed to stay at the Kiln, but the Elf takes a small bribe to send anyone looking for Koba off someplace else.
  • The crusaders offer for them DwarfBoys to stay at their encampment north of the Kiln. Mac is amenable to this to learn about Renfro and the Throne until Flint reminds them that THEY KNOW RENFRO. So they politely decline.
  • Mordechai plays some hammer dolcimer to make us feel better as the party makes camp near Tattered Mills and has the craik with the escaped slaves: Gilgoni the red dragonborn, Dwali the Khal Tarum army deserter, and Tahmara the tiefling socialite.
  • We learn from Gilgoni that there is Dragonborn Kingdom and they are Besties with Hobgoblin Army. Pursue further?
  • Tahmara, who looks weirdly like this guy, explains that prior to being trafficked she was hunting after a half-brother her father had out of wed lock who was abandoned near a monastary. Mac begins doing mental math. Mordechai just happily chats em up. They all head back to Dauntless for some good rest.

XP: 3600

Loot and Equipment:

  • 200 GP, with 300 GP worth of gems (claimed by Mac, Flint, and Mordechai)
  • A spell component pouch
  • A Wizard’s Spell Book that Saza should really claim.
  • A yet to be idenfitied Wizard’s Staff.

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